Embarassment

Everybody had an embarrassing moment in their life, a moment so precious, so valuable, that its better if it is just forgotten. Anyway, i just experienced one recently. It all begun when i received a funny text message.

It was from Andres Kokobroom; some bald elf-looking Djiboutian kid i met in ballet class last summer.......ahem, i mean my sister’s ballet class. Anyway we started hanging out and chilling together after learning that we shared the same interests and hobbies. Some of which were, Pokemon hunting, duck-lifting, punching Rihanna and interrupting Taylor Swift in various music awards. It wasn’t before long till we became best of friends. I mean come on, who wouldn’t want to roll with a guy who sold Nachos, dressed like Spongebob, while holding a half-empty oxygen tank everytime he went to school.

So anyway, back to the text message. It just so happened that when i received the text message, i was in Miss Sushipasta’s French class. Yeah it seemed that both her parents named her after their favourite food types, and till today she accepts it. Infact, she adores her unique name so much that rumours say she once attempted to pay some film directors to name their movie after her. But then again, rumours also said that Jackie Chan was a 7-foot black man who sold Buritto’s at Taco Bell for a living. So i guess we cant put too much emphasis on rumours. Miss Sushipasta was nicknamed “The Predator”. No, not because she always finished her fellow colleagues lunch’s every single day, but because she always had an eye on students during her lectures, looking out if everyone was paying attention, poaching on every opportunity she gets to set an example out of everyone. Psychics call it “the third eye”, but i believe psychics are hypocrites. If they ever took physics, they would calculate the zero-error involved, which will basically make Miss Sushipasta have 3.142 eyes. Wuhooo, i knew i should’ve taken rocket science, come get me NASA.

So i opened the text message. Kokobroom wrote that he was actually a three-headed alien robotic platypus who came to earth, seeking to destroy all traces of earthlings and conquer our planet to play ping pong with Optimus Prime on Valentine’s day. I started bursting out in laughter almost immediately after reading the message. Then i turned around and looked up, everyone was giving me the “you’re so retarded, if they ever replaced Barney, it would be you” look. Silence, that’s all there was; not a single sound could be heard. Well, that is apart from Miley Cyrus who was performing live 7000 miles away in Japan. Just imagine the pollution contributing to global warming everytime she opened her mouth. Where is the World Health Organization when you need them?

Anyway, upon hearing my laughter, Miss Sushipasta summoned me to stand up and come upfront to the class. She asked me to tell the class what was so funny about her lecture. I remained silent. Then she told me to hand over the cell phone and go to the principles office. Before i left, i was going to make sure i was going to leave with style, quality and excellence. As i walked towards the door, i took a final look back at my “legacy” and flipped my hair to the back as if i was in a hair shampoo commercial for noobs. I started feeling the vibes, i felt like a celebrity, i literally felt i could float in the air like a tissue roll. Ermm, or something like that. KABOOOOSH!!! That was my head hitting the door, i was too distracted by my “fame” that my head accidentally hit the door on my way out, bringing me back down to earth. There it went, my moment of greatness. After i recovered, I immediately zoomed out of the class faster than Vin Diesel driving a 5-year-old secondhand rusty Caravan from Ebay...