Yesterday, i went to a club for the first time since i was 7 and got kicked out of the chess club for playing Tic-Tac-Toe on the chessboard. So anyway, the reason i went there was to conduct a survey on the number of homosexuals that have unprotected sex in the club toilet on special occasions (it was 11 months after Chinese New Year, had to do something with Feng Shui), it was for my Social Science project. Okay fine, i was just curious what do homo's do for pastime, maybe i could pick up a trick or two.
So anyway, as i made my way through the harsh conditions and treacherous terrains ("chicks" with dicks).....i met a few of my mates. (i figured the type of friends i have would explain the reason im gay).........So they invited me to have a seat and drink a few bottles of beer. I got petrified!! No, not because i was afraid they would spike my drink and rape me afterwards, but because im against killing animals.
What??? You guys didn't noe too?? Okay fine, lemme explain.....you see, when animals are killed by terrorists such as the Al-Qaeda, Al-Kaboom and Al-youdoissitathomeandwatchtv....they are sent to Vietnamese (they were born specialized in this field) butchers to chop their meat into confetti, okay maybe slightly bigger. Anyway, then, the meat is sent to frustrated emo people who hate their pathetic lives willing to do almost anything against religion to gain happiness for themselves while disappointing others, to squeeze the juice outta the meat (psychologists recommended this to reduce the numbers of slit wrists suicides to help promote a more creative and yet innovative way to hate yourself) Finally, the juice is sent to farmers to add in some cheap rejected fertilizers to give it its taste. And WALAAA!! Thats how u get beer. This is no joke, i read it on "www.thisisajokeforfuckssakegogetafuckinglife.com/?v=feed&story_fbid=231973541887"
If u still dun believe me, ill give u a few examples of beers:
Tiger Beer-Now why would beer, be named after a tiger? Think about it...
Anchor Beer-An anchor is used on a wad? A ship, and a ship used on a wad? The sea....and the sea has wad? Animals.....duhhh?
Heineken-Rhymes with chicken...
Guiness Stout-Tyrannosaurus Rex.....Guiness Stout......Tyrannosaurus Rex....see the resemblance? No? Okay try this....put up ur left hand and have a good look at it. Okay....now put ur right hand up and slap ur parents faces for me for giving birth to such useless children, i mean it, okay i was just kidding, but if ur curious, go ahead and do it with style quality and excellence. Okay so as i was saying, look at ur left hand, then look at ur right hand.....see wad i mean? Its all simple fundamentals of "look-at-ur-left-hand-then-look-at-ur-right-hand-onology"
Carlsberg-Two reasons:
1) Carlsberg is a branch from Burger King, and we all noe what Burger King have.....no seriously, what do they have? Ive not been there in quite a while. If anyone knows please email me at JassuDoggIsFly@hotmail.com....
2) Jackie Chan's father's name was Doucheberg Vallentino Chan......and he's Chinese, which explains alot really.....its a known fact that Chinese eat everything.
Singha Beer-Singha Beer is a Thai beer made for people who are too poor and too cheap to spend for quality beer as its made from the most softest of animals so its usua.....WHAT THE FUCK!!!!! Nowonder my kind (singh's) are on a brink of extinction from the face of this planet. Animals eh, wow.....our social hierarchy must have really dropped.
I gotta go, looks like the Thai people have some explaining to do....
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