CuriositY

Since i was born...everywhere i went, people always gave me a certain look, the look of disambiguation, the look of curiosity. I use to moderately understand the reason people do that when i had my turban.......but minutes, hours, days...heck light years passed but i still got the same look except until now. Due to my own curiosity of others, i hired specialists from secret agencies to spy and have a lookout on these people for me. I also hired Mark L. Whalberg, the host of the show "The Moment Of Truth" (catch it every Thursday at 10pm..only on Star World) to invite those people that are also known as "tomato-flavoured-hornbil-like-weirdos" that my spies suspected and sent to interview them on the reasons of their look on me. (The magic that make some people do nearly absolutely anything for a RM 0.50 grand prize)......

So after close inspection and major issue analysis, Mark concluded and told me three possible reasons of the look on peoples faces when they see me....which was:

1) Because of my freakishly long Brontosaurus-like neck
2) Because of my mean and push-over attitude towards others and also my larger than life cat walking ability

When these results were sent to my private scientists, they were relatively confident with their inference that it was reason number two that was the root cause of my problems. Because of the sources of bias that could have occurred by my sampling technique, i wasn't satisfied with the results....therefore i sent my results to be a question on the Mozambique version of "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire", hoping for the person taking on the questions for the cash will use one of his lifelines to confirm my confirmation.

Sure enough, the player used his "audience'' lifeline for the question.....and majority of the audience also gave reason number two for the "looks"....you might be wondering how on earth would the audience know the answer to that question when probably most of them had never seen me before.........well this is because 97% of the people in the audience were my own family members........

So let me take this opportunity to explain my reasons for being such a push-over, having a mean attitude and incredible cat-walking ability........

I was born in the mean streets of central Chicago, better known as "the GHETTO".......Originally, i was not born there, i was actually born in the exact same place where u all are from...Malaysia .........because of my "giant double-Decker-bus-like-brain" and also because of a super genius termite that created the worlds first ever human teleporting machine........i was teleported to Chicago through a portal from another dimension and switched places with a black kid that could play basketball and defeat the Los Angelas Lakers by doing "freestyle-crawling" since the second he "dunked" out of his mothers stomach by himself.

So during my childhood, or more specifically, i was dealing drugs with my homies since i was 7 months old........i became one of the gangsters that ruled the street with just my toe at just the age of 2 during my surprise birthday party....Soon enough (2 hours later), i became a drug lord and a top dog in the state...i became notorious and was feared by almost everyone including baby birds (usually fly away when i come close)........My habits kept getting from bad to worse as i grew older....from manslaughter to conducting killing-spree's, i started using lethal weapons such as clogged up tissue papers to attempt first degree murder.......my life spent goodwill and charity was soon rewarded with me being the "face" and being on the front page cover of the "Americas Most Wanted Baby That Was Teleported From Malaysia" book by Angelina Jolie (who happened to be a fan of "imported" babies")............i headlined every news from Paris to Berlin until it came to a point that the G8 had to meet up and take action against me........first they listed me 2ND on the "Top 10 Most Threatening People Ever" ahead of "So-Dumb Hussein" and behind "Oh-sama-sama-Dustbin Laden"....then they plan the largest catch in history as combinely they brought more than 42,000 soldiers to lock me up in a cell........

I manage to get through a few (41,999) of them except one.......he was called "Superman".......rumours claimed that he had superhuman strength and laser-shooting eyes........i and him had a fist fight...but in the end it was a no contest. His external underwear was just too good a fight for me......so i was captured and locked up in "Azkaban"......and was knowned as "The Prisoner Of Azkaban"(i wonder why).........

Years passed and a white-and-nerdy looking guy called "Extremely-Harry-Potter" helped me break out of prison after watching more than 200 episodes of "Prison Break" and "Desperate Housebabies". Security was just far too tight and therefore Harry got caught and was sent to "Lord Voltage-mord" to deal with.....whereas i was killed by a giant swinging axe that chopped my neck completely......people say that when i lost my head, i was catwalking better than "Tyra Moss" and "Kate Banks" combined.......my picture was shot and was the theme for the upcoming "Victoria's Secret Fashion Show".....

Anyway i was killed but after 276hours of reconstructive surgery, doctors manage to fix everything except my neck that was outstretched 20-foot during the procedure......I was ecstatic to have another chance in living...i wanted to start fresh......i wanted to thank god for this opportunity and start fresh....i wanted to turn over a new leaf and change...starting off with my "Plain White Clothes" in the hospital....

Therefore i started visiting a famous astronomer who said i had only one way to heal from my past....which was to be lame...I started researching on Lame-nology from libraries to bookstores, from strawberries to wild boars.........And finally on the 5Th of January of 2008, i was knighted by the queen of England am now knowned as "The Lame Guru"...

Signing off......