1 year ago i broke up with my ex-boyfriend (A sheep) because of irreconcilable differences. I was crushed, my whole world fell apart and my heart broke exactly like how cabbage is cut by my grandmother when she takes a can of Red Bull (RM 2.80 at Asia Cafe, isn't it abit too expensive). Anyway as i was saying, i became depressed and considered suicide to be the only solution to my problems.....i cried and weeped, everytime i thought about that sheep, as it was the "Pupil of my eye", the "Origin of my lie", the "Pineapple of my Aloha Chicken pizza from Dominoes" (btw i heard that there is special offer right now, call 1-300-88-8333 to get yours now!!)
A couple of days after the break-up i decided enough was enough, i was sick of this sorrowful and unfair life, i decided to kill myself by using the most considered way (among humans) to commit suicide in the world, which was "to eat red chilli's non-stop until smoke comes out through the ears and finally the person's ears will explode into confetti and will die"....part of the reason i chose this way to end my life is because while i am dying, i can actually play the song "This Is Why Im Hot by MIMs"....and also because my house ran out of tomatoes, so chili's were not an option....
My parents found out my objective somehow, don't ask me how, it was only on CNN and BBC and also in Al-Jazeera...i think.....so my parents carried out their duty and tried to convince me to stay on, telling me how much they will miss my "style, quality, excellence" (Dunhill) if i left...
In the end i gave in because they agreed to buy for me a new G2 Pilot pen (Something people can only dream and fantasize of) if i lived on....
They told me "relationships will always make and break, but an indians head must never stop to shake"....they also said that someone else will come into my life, i just had to stay patient. They decided to send me to work in a poultry farm to past my time during the holidays and true enough, i met someone who shared alot of similarities with me, it was the most good looking thing ever seen, it had a wonderful personality, it was...a chicken.
I decided to giv it a "pet" name, and name it "My chick". I felt very comfortable with it, i would always share my problems with it and even if i get angry and scold it, it would never talk back....i was shocked to learn that even "My chick" love to talk "Cock" (hahaha get it? cock=cockeral....nvm..zzz) just like me.....what can i say.....there was just this chemistry between us that no one could explain...
One day, my ex-sheepfriend spotted us having earthworms for lunch in some korean restaurant....the followong day i received a call from it asking me to get back together again.....i declined and told it i couldnt be any happier with my current relationship....it accepted but asked me to just meet up 1 more time before it left for being a "sheepburger".....i had to agree...
During our meeting, "My Chick" caught us together and though i was cheating on it, so it decided to suicide........because it wasn't an indian but a chicken, i couldn't tell it "relationships will always make and break, but an indians head must never stop to shake".....rather, i told it " A chicken can live on without its head, so go ahead, go to bed"....i didn noe what did i say wrong as "My Chick" really killed itself....it was just meant to be i guess.....it died, i lived on, end of story....
Signing off......
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